THE MEMORIAL TOURNAMENT

May 27, 1997

John Daly

JOHN DALY: I don't have any, really a lot of expectations this week, just getting back into the rhythm, the basics of my game. More importantly, I didn't get to play a lot of golf while I was gone. I was working on more important things. But I'm excited. I have faith in the equipment I'm using and I'm really excited to get it going.

JOHN DALY: At this time in my life it's still very, very important but the main thing is what I've been working on the last eight weeks right now at this short time. It's always going to be the most important thing, and then golf is probably going to be second, because I won't be able to play golf unless I take care of my problems day to day.

JOHN DALY: Definitely. This time I learned an awful lot. I actually read books. I surrounded myself with people that love me for the problem that I have, and not for the sport that I play. And it's just been amazing. It's just been a whole turn around in my life. It's a tough battle. People who go through what I've gone through, they're the only ones who know how tough it really is. And I'm in that boat, I have a great group in Palm Springs, and really all over the world. The fans that sent letters and stuff, I think there's about 1800 more I haven't opened. I just couldn't get all the way through them in the six weeks that I was there. It may take me forever to go through all that. But it made me realize that I'm not alone, that there's other people out there just like myself that have this same disease, and it's a tough battle.

JOHN DALY: Definitely.

JOHN DALY: The first time I went through I was forced. I didn't want to be there. It was easy to admit the problem, but I never got to the second step. I've actually worked -- I'll work -- there's 12 steps in this thing. And I'll always work the 12 step, if anybody knows, that's a very important one, but getting to the second was very tough for me, in that first treatment. I've actually gone through the books and I've read an awful lot. I've learned an awful lot. And it's just amazing talking to others about this same disease, and getting through things day to day. It's just incredible.

JOHN DALY: In this recovery it's not really something you talk about, if you're in recovery you know what I'm talking about. And I look at it as a denial, the first one is admitting and to me is denial and then finally the so-called higher power to get you through it. And I feel like I found that.

JOHN DALY: I think just knowing that there's other people out there with the same problem, and knowing I can help them as much as they can help me.

JOHN DALY: I feel a lot better. I've always had a very big heart, that's something that I will brag about. I've just never loved myself like people have loved me, and that's something that I'm working on.

JOHN DALY: The Big Book that I will have the rest of my life. Twenty-four hour meditation book, and a book called As Bill Sees It.

JOHN DALY: Like I said, it's just the way it is, if you're not in recovery. There will be people in here that understand what I'm saying, but there's 12 traditions in The Big Book, and the 11th one is basically not to talk to the media about my problem (laughter.) It's tough because when you guys write articles and I see people that are going to read it and here I am talking about it, there will be some people that are very, kind of angry about it. But it's something that I feel that I need to somewhat talk about it, but I can't get into it, it's a very personal thing, but like I said, if you're not in recovery you might not understand what I'm talking about.

JOHN DALY: I think just when I got there and I met the group and I started reading about it, acceptance was a very big thing. There's a very important saying in The Big Book about acceptance, and it brought tears to my eyes, really. And it made me realize you can't do this alone. There's people out there that you can go to to help you, there's meetings, there's tons of ways to get help, and I have to surround myself with those people.

JOHN DALY: No. I tried constantly the first two weeks I was out there to get a hold of her. I did get a chance to see my daughter. That was through my mother-in-law, who's been very cooperative through the whole thing. But Paulette is not ready to talk to me, and I don't know if she ever will. It's kind of sad.

JOHN DALY: I don't know, it's hard to predict the future. My game is very rusty right now, I don't have the feel I normally do, but I've got great equipment with Callaway, we worked very hard at the test center. I'm glad to be associated with a family that cares about John Daly as a person and then as a golf professional. I've never been around a company like Callaway. Everybody is a family, and it's funny, I go there to hit golf balls, I sit down and talk to Mr. C and Mike, and all the guys there. And how is everything at home? And I've never had that before, and it's a warm, warm feeling, and it's a warm company.

JOHN DALY: 12 steps is something I'll be working the rest of my life. It's not something you could skip. You can't go from 1 to 8, like I went from 1 to 12 when I went through treatment the first time. I believe The Big Book is a book that's not only about alcoholism, I think it's about life. It's a very, very important book in my life now. I wish I would have read it the first time I went through treatment. I just ignored the fact, I said I could quit, which is the stupidest thing I could have ever said. I can say again I will -- I can't say I will never have another drink, which would be a stupid thing to say, because it's day to day. It's tough. I will not be associated with -- like for example if I wanted to go out with the guys to eat, I would kindly ask if they please not drink in front of me, because it's very difficult. And certain functions that the TOUR or people may want me to attend, you know, it's going to be -- I just really don't have a way of going to cocktail parties much anymore. I don't feel I want to put myself in that position again.

JOHN DALY: No, no. The guys on TOUR, I've got numerous calls from guys on TOUR that have just been super. I don't mind people drinking, but hopefully they can respect my problem and my disease, they won't. Like if we go out to eat they just won't have a beer in front of me.

JOHN DALY: I was worried more about me. It was the first time in my life that I was worried about me. My best friend Donny and I went straight to Memphis and then we drove straight to Palm Springs. I knew it was time. I couldn't do this on my own.

JOHN DALY: 14, yes.

JOHN DALY: I believe Callaway has got the best test facility in golf, which makes the best golf equipment in golf. I couldn't believe the difference. First time I went there to try the irons, I was hitting them a little right. So the boys went in and tweaked it a little bit and it was perfect. I've never had that with any company I've ever been with. It made it a lot easier. It's just a company that's got every aspect of the golf game -- I don't know much about technology, I let Mr. C and them take care of that, but they do a marvelous job. And it's easy going to a test facility that looks like one of the Augusta golf holes. It's got all the greens, all the bunkers, plenty of room to hit drivers, they've got everything you'd ever want. And this day and age that's what players need and that's what Callaway has provided and it's just phenomenal.

JOHN DALY: I don't know, I'll let you see. (Laughter.)

JOHN DALY: It was just wonderful. Mr. Callaway, the short time that I've known him, is like a father figure. I feel like I'm an adopted son already. And I feel like I have brothers and sisters in the family of Callaway in just a short time. I never got that close to any of the big CEO's or vice-presidents or whatever with Wilson. They changed so many, so I never really could. But Callaway is just a company that's family first, then the profession. And that's what I love about them.

JOHN DALY: Straight through from Memphis.

JOHN DALY: I don't know, I don't think I sobered up until three days after I got there, anyway. Donny did most of the driving.

JOHN DALY: I'm still in Memphis right now.

JOHN DALY: I don't know yet. I've only been to Memphis once or twice in the last 10 or 11 weeks. I'm not too concerned about it right now. I think as all the players know, we kind of live on the road anyway. Right now my home is at Callaway.

JOHN DALY: Just playing, just getting back into it, not expecting much. I feel I'm hitting the ball very solid, the short times I have played, the short game is not where I want it, but everything is solid. There's going to be a few pulls and a few pushes out there, but this is one of the greatest courses to come and play, because the golf course is so good. We did an outing in Pittsburgh yesterday, 30,000 people in one day at Nemacolin, a guy by the name of Joe Hardy, a phenomenal man. It was a warm, warm feeling, they're dying for a golf tournament. We need to get the TOUR involved and get a tournament up there.

JOHN DALY: I don't know. I want to get through today.

JOHN DALY: Everywhere. My agents have done a wonderful job working with the center in Palm Springs, out-care program, alumni, hookup with one of them each week, and they're everywhere, they're in every city, and it's a nice family.

JOHN DALY: No, I think three -- I'm going to hopefully play at least three, but I don't know coming up. But that would be the most I think I could play right now.

JOHN DALY: I'll do something with my program every day, as much as I can, anyway.

JOHN DALY: The most important thing is that I stay sober day to day. And I've always got somebody to call, millions and millions of people to call. And it's everywhere. There's people out there that have the same problem that I have in every city or town. I could pick up the phone or I could go to a meeting or if there's any problems or if I get jittery or feel like I want to have a drink or something, I know I can go somewhere. And I just ignored the fact the first time I went through this.

JOHN DALY: I've talked to Fuzzy about three or four times.

JOHN DALY: I missed playing with him this morning, I overslept, but Fuzzy is my big brother out here. He always will be. And I think once I approach Fuzzy and talk to him, you know, that's the thing about this sport, we all are kind of a family in some way. Fuzzy's been there for me, and I would be there for him if he needed me. And that's what it's all about.

JOHN DALY: Just over two months. It's funny, the only past -- they say not to remember too much of your past, just forgive yourself for it. I want to remember that night the rest of my life, how bad it really was. And if I could do that, it's going to get me through a tough day, that if I want to have one or something, because when I woke up, I mean my agents were there, my caddy was there and Donny was there, and I saw the sadness in their eyes. I could just picture how bad I looked, and that's what's going to keep me, as long as I can remember that night, knowing how bad I really was, that can get me through a day, and it can get me through an awful lot, because I don't want to go back there.

JOHN DALY: I have forgiven myself for it, because I know it's not my fault. I know it's my responsibility, but a disease like this is not somebody's fault. You don't point the finger, this is a disease. It's something that -- I didn't have a book when I was brought up. I was around alcohol all my life when I grew up, like most kids are today. And it's -- it's not the easiest thing in the world to do. I started drinking four years after I started playing golf. And I started playing golf when I was four. So that's kind of tough.

JOHN DALY: Too much, yeah.

JOHN DALY: I don't know. I've lost 32 pounds, and I'm afraid if I quit smoking I'd gain it right back. But you can't really quit everything right now. I've thought about it, but I'm scared to quit smoking, afraid I'll eat everything in site.

JOHN DALY: Just over two and a half packs, probably a day.

JOHN DALY: I swim an awful lot. I haven't been eating anything after 5 o'clock and I haven't been eating chocolate. And I haven't been eating the burgers or anything, either. I've eaten steaks and a lot of fruit.

JOHN DALY: The hospital.

JOHN DALY: I don't know. I've always been a guy who would rather give than receive. I think if you talk to the people closest to me they would tell you the same thing. I love doing things for people. I've just never been one to do things for John Daly. I always seemed to have a reason, like if I win a tournament or something, I never say it's for me, I always say it's for something else, which I think is still okay. I think the problem that I've had in my life is to forgive myself for the things that I've done. And it's been very tough. I feel like I've forgiven myself a lot. There's a fourth step in there, searching and moral inventory of myself that I did and I cried the six hours to do it because I was down on myself and then after it was all over I said, hey, you can forgive yourself for those things.

JOHN DALY: Yeah, in a way. I have a new family now, through my sobriety, and have a new family through my career with Callaway. And it's a new start, and it's a day-to-day thing, and it's not predicting the future, it's not -- I won't be committing to tournaments until that Friday before the tournament. I wish it could be that Monday, but I know that's not possible. It's a new beginning, and it is the biggest second chance I've ever had in my life.

JOHN DALY: I read, play a little guitar. There will always be somebody at each tournament with me, Donny will always be there, one of my agents will always be at the tournaments and I will also have a lot of people in recovery that I would fly out to watch me play, if I need them, so-called sponsors, just be around people that basically don't drink and have the same problem that I have. That's where I have to be.

JOHN DALY: I'm very happy right now. Very sad to go through what I'm going through with Paulette, that hurt an awful lot. But I can't do anything about the way she feels. As long as I know my daughter is okay, that's right now the most important thing. And a new relationship with Callaway, I think the commercials you're going to love. It was really fun doing them. And like I said it's a new beginning. I'm excited to be a part of a family that cares about John Daly.

JOHN DALY: The most important thing I thought would help me would be to get to Palm Springs and to get in that program. That was the only thing I was worried about at that time and the most important thing for me was to get help with my disease. I didn't really think of anything else, I didn't want to think of anything else, I just couldn't do anything but get to Palm Springs as fast as I could. We didn't get any tickets, that was nice.

JOHN DALY: That's, again, kind of personal. I stayed out eight weeks. I was there for eight weeks. I stayed a couple of weeks longer than I was intended to, but I had such a close group that I didn't want to leave them. The program I went through was very, very -- it was very good.

JOHN DALY: I've had a few, and one was with Callaway, and meeting Mr. Callaway, that was a miracle.

JOHN DALY: You know, I really don't know. It just happened so fast. I basically wanted to test some new clubs, and I went over to the test center of Callaway's and basically fell in love with everything they had. It wasn't -- I didn't go over there thinking about a deal or anything, I just wanted to find the best equipment that I could possibly find for my game. And I found it the first day I got there. It was amazing.

JOHN DALY: I think it was about my third or fourth week that I was there.