U.S. OPEN

August 29, 1995

Jeff Tarango

JEFF TARANGO: I don't know. I really don't. I don't think about the player. I just think about my quality of play.

JEFF TARANGO: Well, I haven't -- I have probably slept two hours in the last week, and the fact that I was able to get out there and get my serve in, the security was pretty amazing to me. I am completely exhausted, and devastated from this whole thing. And I just -- I can barely maintain, to be honest.

JEFF TARANGO: I just swung at the ball, and the racket wasn't even getting close to where the ball was. That is pretty much how it felt; no coordination whatsoever. My brain and my body were not in sync.

JEFF TARANGO: No. I wanted to win the tournament. That is why I entered.

JEFF TARANGO: As long as I keep being persecuted --

JEFF TARANGO: Excuse me?

JEFF TARANGO: Want me to get another $60,000 fine?

JEFF TARANGO: I feel like a victim. That is probably the word I would use, you know, that is pretty much how I feel. Used and abused.

JEFF TARANGO: Well, yeah. I mean, I just think that all this is unnecessary, you know, some people are obviously a lot more powerful than me in tennis, and, you know, that is the way things go. So I guess, you know, hoorah for the power.

JEFF TARANGO: I mean, if I want to mount $200,000 in lawyer bills, I can fight this and probably win, but what is the point? I don't have that kind of money.

JEFF TARANGO: I just can't sleep. I mean, I am taking two sleeping pills every night, and I still am not getting any sleep, so I don't know what to do. I go to the chiropractor three times a week. He says I am so stressed out; he can't even turn my neck. I don't know what to do, really, it's amazing to me that there is -- just the fact that there was a tournament, it was just weird. I mean, I am spending four hours, you know, talking to my lawyer on the phone a day and trying to collect some kind of sanity. It is just not working. I guess I have to go back to the drawing board and hope that I can try -- I don't know. Just go sit on the beach maybe for a couple of weeks, will probably be good.

JEFF TARANGO: Excuse me?

JEFF TARANGO: Well, then I guess I will be like the rest of the people, just get pushed around all the time.

JEFF TARANGO: I don't know, I don't really have an answer for that.

JEFF TARANGO: I don't know. I mean, I really don't know what -- I guess the Grand Slam Committee is the only one that can decide whether things are too harsh or not.

JEFF TARANGO: Well, right now I am just pretty just devastated. I think that is the only word I can use. I don't want to get into any specifics because every time I get into specifics, I will get fined, so that is pretty much all I can say.

JEFF TARANGO: You can say whatever you want. I am not allowed to.

JEFF TARANGO: I think everybody that is sane sees what is going on. I think that everybody who is inside the tennis world is maybe a bit confused.

JEFF TARANGO: Yes. I would say that everybody who is sane has been pretty supportive.

JEFF TARANGO: I don't know, I don't know what is going to happen. I mean, I obviously can't go out and play with this kind of mental attitude, so I probably got to decide on whether I am going to keep playing or not. I love tennis and I have to play in my backyard. I know Courier and Sampras and Patrick and all my friends will come and play with me in my backyard, so I guess I can just practice and play them there. I don't really -- I don't really see what the point is of trying to go out and prove myself, you know, if it is not a level playing field.

JEFF TARANGO: I don't know. I mean, five tournaments from now, is that what you are asking? I don't know. I mean, what can I play being suspended from five tournaments, you tell me. They pick and choose the tournaments I can play. And then they promote me and say I am some bad boy and everybody comes and watches and then they fine me more for things that I don't do. I mean, I don't see what the point is.

JEFF TARANGO: So far, no.

JEFF TARANGO: Yeah, he has given me a lot of support. We haven't talked on the phone. He has written me a couple of letters and stuff, but I have been spending a lot of time on the phone with all my friends and it is just like trying to get around to everybody, so it is pretty tough.

JEFF TARANGO: He says, you know, you are always the type of person that can bounce back from things that happen to you pretty quickly and you are always the first one with the smile on your face. He said, just try and get that sense of humor back as quickly as possible because you have one of the best ones I know. It is pretty tough.

JEFF TARANGO: She asked me if she -- if I wanted to her to come and watch the match today; she said she probably couldn't do it. I asked her to come and watch the match for me but I wanted her to be with me. So that is pretty much she came and watched. But she said when I came off the court, she said, don't worry about it. I understand. You know, you tried your hardest; that is all you can do.

JEFF TARANGO: I don't know. You will have to ask the powers at be. I mean, I really don't know what is in store, what is going on, and I probably have to rethink a lot of things.

JEFF TARANGO: Three tournaments from the ATP and two Grand Slam events, so that is a lot of money and that is a lot of, you know, I play singles, doubles, and mixed doubles in those tournaments. It is a lot of money. It is probably going to be around 150,000, $175,000 for someone that, you know, I mean, people think I make a lot of money, but I have got $100,000 in expenses a year. I have got 40% taxes every year, so, you know, the money goes quickly, and, you know, these people take $63,000, sure, they are making $40 million here, so it is nothing to them. But it is a lot to me and it hurts.

JEFF TARANGO: That is the first.

JEFF TARANGO: Yeah. So I don't know, I mean, right now they tell me that the Grand Slam committee will decide things -- if the administrators made the right decisions or not and I can only hope that they look at this from an individual standpoint as opposed to -- just as normal people; that would be nice.

JEFF TARANGO: I really don't. The only way I can see it is that people just see it for what it is, and, you know, I didn't go back on what I said originally and I guess I paid the price for it, but I don't want to be a hypocrit and I don't want to be someone who comes back and tries too glaze over something that I did or said. I am going to live with my actions, that is the way it goes.

JEFF TARANGO: No, I really didn't.

JEFF TARANGO: Yeah. I think that if everybody looked over the facts that that would be -- that they would probably see things the way I do. So hopefully some day everybody will.

JEFF TARANGO: They haven't said. No one knows at this point.

JEFF TARANGO: What would I change in what?

JEFF TARANGO: I don't know. I mean, Goran Ivanisevic was suspended for not going to a press conference and I was suspended for going to a press conference and telling the truth. So it is a really confusing situation for me. I am not sure what I am supposed to do. There is no one here right now so I don't even know if I am supposed to be giving this press conference. So that is why I am pretty limited in what I can say.

JEFF TARANGO: Well, no, I can go back to school and finish and that is probably the first thing on my agenda anyway if I wasn't playing tennis, so I don't know, I just have to regroup and see how much I still like playing the game and how much I enjoy it and whether it is worth it or not. Today I was swinging and nothing was connected, so I don't know if that is going to continue or what is going to happen. It is really tough to see. But I would like to say that I thanks to all the press who has been so fair and really given a 50/50 perspective of this whole issue. I really appreciate it, and I don't know if you -- if anybody will see the investigation findings or whatever, but I am sure that, you know, with real investigators and people and a real judge, I don't know, I do not think that the decision would have been the same, but once again, I don't have $200,000 to give to a lawyer, to all this stuff that needs to happen, so I am kind of in a terrible situation. Thanks.